I always hope and even believe that you’re in the best of health and doing well in life. Any other thought is always unwelcome. I am well.
I’m writing to you in the morning, again, because it’s so serene. I don’t really know what I’m supposed to write to you, just that I want to. Life’s dragging on, not half as bad, I suppose and hope because I haven’t been brooding lately. I’m off my anxiety meds and pulling it off with but a little difficulty.
I was reading Charles Dickens, his very dear David Copperfield. Remember how we used to talk about books? :’) I hope that, maybe, someday, we could read together, it could be like old times.
You will bear with me, I know, always have, and always will, I have no doubt, but that’s just you.
I hope that you are liking your endeavors much more than I am and toiling for them.
I am really looking forward to tomorrow. I am very excited to reunite with the family. It has been long since I have had the leisure of spending some quality time with them. I’ll be getting to wear my new clothes, since it’s Eid, which brings me to realize that it is one of those things we will always share and makes me really, really very, very happy. I was thinking graduation, but, alas! If only I had joined university a year later.
I do not know what it is, that makes me hold on to you, although, seemingly, there is nothing to hold on to. I believe that it is that unbreakable bond, far beyond the norms and limits of this society. In this exact moment when I am writing this, I feel, that, the bond we share, does not require the exchange of words or looks, rather, our hearts beat to alternate rhythms, listening when the other is not speaking, feeling the pain even when the other is smiling and distinguishing the truth from the pretence. When I looked into your eyes for the last time, I felt that we were not two but one, that we were infinite. It is neither love nor mere friendship, I cannot attribute a word to the feeling we share. At this moment, my heart has whispered in my ear that even if it were for you to no longer be, I would feel the same infinity. The separation from you has won me sharp pangs of longing yet I cannot yield.
It always makes me so emboldened, writing. I want to be a writer, rather, my heart longs for it so that my mind has come to acknowledge it. It would be the perfect life for me, don’t you think?
You are so near yet so distant. Many a time, I want to break these bonds, that hold me back from you but as they say, all good things for those who wait. I guess I am waiting for my happily ever after.
Nothing is for certain, I know, but being the hopeless romantic that I am, you cannot expect me to be not weaving a fairy tale out of the thread of the boundless human imagination to hang on the inner walls of my heart.
Well, a good day to you, dear friend. I wish you the best of luck and health. May the angels shower God’s blessings upon you and may your heart be filled with His light. All the happiness in the world to you. If it were to rain upon you may it be I holding the umbrella over your head and soaking in the rain myself. If it were to stand in the crowd, invisible to your eyes, to see you happy that I would gladly do it for you have been my friend, and always will be.
Love always, for my beloved poet Rumi, who showed me love in its infinite forms, taught me,
“It is love that holds everything together, and it is the everything also.”